Troubling times

I interrupt the quiet slumber of this blog with an urgent message for my current country of residence:
Oi! Finland! Wake up!!!

Yes, I know I've given you a bit of stick on here in the past, Finland. But usually, when push comes to shove, if someone else starts giving you lip, I'm there to defend you and tell them all about your good side. I've also reeled out some of the lines that you like so much, about how other countries don't do any better and all that.

But really! The last couple of months have been a bit silly, haven't they?

The international news media picked up on two stories from your snowy shores this Christmas. One was a former ski jumper allegedly trying to murder his wife, and the other was the actual murder of several people at my local shopping centre. That's on top of your recent history of other gun crime.

Not only that, but the last two times I've come over here to see you, your airport arrivals hall has been jammed with unclaimed luggage. Plus the central metro station in your capital city is closed for an unspecified time due to water damage, and now there's a runaway train lodged in the hotel wall at your principal railway station.

I can't leave you alone for a moment, can I?

I know it wasn't always like this, and I know you have a history of good Nordic efficiency, but I have more to tell you, and it's not pretty.

You see, several people whom I met on my round-the-world trip were mumbling unkind words about Finnish companies ignoring environmental regulations in Australia and South America. And don't forget that it was a Finnish tourist who tried to hack a piece off one of the sacred moai on Easter Island not so long ago.

You think that's funny?

Sorry, Finland, but you're fast developing an international image problem.

Sort it out, will you?!